Last night was really good. In fact, over the last few days, I have noticed my H "peeking over the fence at my picnic." Anyway, I was telling him about a stituation at work and he started telling me that I would never stand up for myself...yada yada yada. I got off the couch and went to bed.
A few minutes later he comes into my room and rudely asks if I am going to bed already? All I said was that I felt that he was being negative towards me. He turned around and slammed the door?
Now what? I was making lots of baby steps.
me:51 H: 48 No kids together M:14 years seperated:Ask him to GET OUT 3/21/11 Piecing 09/14
The last few day have been GREAT, not perfect, but great. Last night we were in a f2f discussion about my work. I felt that I was being demeaned and critized by him. I slipped away to bed. He came up and was rather put off, and I said that I felt that he was being negative towards me. He slammed the door. This am he wasn't cold, but wasn't warm either. I knew something was up.
Tonight he tells me not to concern myself with him ect... Jeesh, all I did was set a CONCRETE boundary and he tail spins into a 2 year old.
so much progress wasted!!!!! Now what?
me:51 H: 48 No kids together M:14 years seperated:Ask him to GET OUT 3/21/11 Piecing 09/14
"When your H started laying into you, you should have held up your hand and said "look, I made a mistake. I understand that. You don't have the right to talk to me in that manner." Then walk away. He will be left speechless because he will realize he's losing his power over you. He will come back at you even louder, but don't listen to him. And most importantly, don't believe him."
And this... "Yes. STOP INTERACTING WITH HIM.
You may think you have him under your control. But you do not. He's taking your temperature to see if you're still his until he finds someone else."
So again, ignore him. Period.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
It was going sooooo well. Now he won't even look at me. What gives? I willingly let myself back on the rollercoaster. This time around, i'm pissed off not at all in a panic though.
I truely believe/know that he is having EA/PA I need to confront this. How and when??? I need some serious advice
me:51 H: 48 No kids together M:14 years seperated:Ask him to GET OUT 3/21/11 Piecing 09/14
VS2D, it seems you have made your greatest progress when you were detached and expressing control of yourself where he could see it.
It seems most of the drama posted is when he provokes a reaction and pulls you back onto his rollercoaster. Much of this seems like his game playing to determine what your level of detachment is.
It is not helping you. Confronting him when you’re not projecting calm and detached is not likely to help achieve your goals either.
I stumbled with something similar because I failed to be calm and detached. Please do not repeat my mistake.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
#1-Dont look at his FB account. It's like me with checking H's cell phone records. It really doesn't do me any good except to drive me crazy. I have a feeling looking at his FB might be doing the same to you.
#2-i can't believe the crap people use FB forr, seriously. It causes so much drama
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤
