And I haven't heard from him since. I was married 4 1/2 years and together over 9 years. No kids. He's 29 and Im 34. The letter says hes not having an affair but just needs to leave. How do you leave someone without telling them to their face. I will never understand that. I was a good devoted police wife and this is what I get for all my trouble. How do I get passed this? What do I do?