It's Time To Rock; Part II

[gr8 day 2B alive]

Gr8, how long were you and wife apart and was she involved with Om before she came back.

Did it seem really hopeless at the time and did you believe that your wife really didnt love you anymore?

How did she get that back for you?

We are still apart. She didn't leave me for OM but I know she was not faithful. Brief timeline:
8.21.09- bomb
11.01.09 - W moves out
02.10 -W suggests we see mediator to draw up a post
marital agreement.
4.10 - I find out W slept with someone.
5.10 - W and I meet to finally divide our assets and talk
about the kids schedule. During this talk I asked her if
she wanted a D, and if she thought that was the best
thing for us. She said yes to both.
From That point I chose to move on with me live and I did
start to date OW. I was happy for months and it
showed.W wasn't any happier without me.
9.10 - W finds out through friend that I'm dating and calls me
to R talk. I told her I was in a happy place now and she
was miserble. I told her it's not attractive and she
needs to find what makes her happy.
10.10 - W calls to try to work on things. I agree.
Big Mistake!!!


11.10-12.10 We go on dates, 4 total. I sense her pulling away again. We wait for after X-mas and I call her out on her behavior. She tells me she's not "feeling it". Back to mediation.
There's a lot more details but this is the gist of it.

So to answer your question, I believe the two most important things were, me totally letting go of her and me dating someone else and being happy. (She felt as if she was losing ME) and she was!

That's why I say it cant be a bluff.

I did totally believe she would never change her mind and motion back towards the M. It was hopeless.

Now this is where I made my mistake.
I agreed to take her back too easily!
I did so much work on myself, she did nothing.
So if you ever have the opportunity that your W thinks she wants to work on M, you cannot take them back too fast.
You need to make them want it.

Also I will add that a recovery plan needs to be in placed and agreed upon by W.