I think Gucci was spot on in one respect. I had the same thought when I read your latest update.
First regardless of how "strong" the husband/wife is with respect to the OM. I 100% believe the spouse has to make the decision to cut off contact on their own. Otherwise, they could just build resentment again.
Secondly, I do worry that you are so eager to start working on things that you don't properly process what went on with your W and the OM. I mean there is a lot of stuff there and I don't believe that any part of you could not be mad at your W, unless you are either a total anomaly or a robot. Some of the stuff she did was crappy and 2X4 time, your W was a willing participant in her A. Ultimately, she made the choices and she did the actions with respect to the OM.
It's OKAY to be mad at your W. It doesn't mean you don't love her, or you don't want to work on things, or can't forgive her. It means you are human and do care. Take the whole text thing, she ask you if were mad at her, you denied it. I don't think you were being honest with yourself or her. Expressing your anger doesn't mean turning into the old you. It's an opportunity to express yourself in a constructive way that is open and honest. I mean if you did something that made your W mad...what would you want? For her to deny it or to be honest about it? Which path is more likely to lead to a better M.
As no one posts their whole lives on here, maybe you are processing it (like in IC, which is good for that BTW.)
You are moving on to a different stage. The DB principles that brought you here get mostly thrown out the window.
I hope the MC session went well.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
