OMW - on my phone, so can't type much. This can be positive. It's practice for when your D is a teen If you don't want your wife, fine. Use DB'ing to set your boundaries, improve yourself, and keep detaching in a healthy/positive/controlled way that leaves the door open for when you are both in a better place.
Finally, you can't make your wife do anything, but you can change how you respond and start to control your environment. Your anger and hurt are valid - get it out in counseling or somewhere. A big ugly fight or D from your wife wouldn't be help anyone. Youkre doing a good thing by trying.
Faith is, at one and the same time, absolutely necessary and altogether impossible. --Stanislaw Lem
If you don't want your wife, fine. Use DB'ing to set your boundaries, improve yourself, and keep detaching in a healthy/positive/controlled way that leaves the door open for when you are both in a better place. 