Just take a step back from thinking anything about your R atm. Both of you are blown away by MIL loss and only to be expected, also MIL was a link to H which you feel the loss off too (dont beat yourself up for feeling this its normal)
You have every right to attend the funeral but as you have been asked to contribute the memory board I'd take it as read you are expected to go. Hold your head up high hun you can do this and truly I can tell you can because I had too as well and survived. A dear freind of ours died during our S and it took every fibre in my body to attend knowing H would be there and all our family and friends who knew we had S'd. Look absolutely amazing and believe me no-one will even notice GF2 and if they do they will wonder why H doesnt have the brains to see what he is missing out in not being with you.
One biggy STOP MIND READING NOW! Absolutely everything is in a state of UNREAL, just be your best and that will be enough. Super-nurse mode is probably just the ticket, I know exactly what you mean I never have nursed but seem to be able to do it on autopilot, probably a bit of Super-mum but it makes everyone feel secure, yes you will find it hard to compose yourself but try and help H & SIL make it a celebration of MIL's life rather than a huge bereavement. When my MIL passed she ordered everyone to turn up in sunday best clothes and just enjoy remembering her, she left us a list of her favourite songs to sing in church, it became a happy funeral if you can call it that!
Put all thoughts of R & H aside, lay down those expectations and deal with what ever comes your way, always in my thoughts, hopes and prayers hun
xx Rabbit
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
