Had my first counseling session this morning. This C is all the way with DB. Boy did I get lucky. Looked for weeks before the bomb and everyone was the same old. I finally picked one out of the phone book and SURPRISE!(thank god insurance covered)I am going myself zengypsy gotta do it for me. This is gonna be a long road.
Explain taking stock? I have DBing for 1 VERY intense week yet had done it before in 2007 and lost rack of my goals.No kids are involved and have not snooped at all (really my past downfall)
I dont want to leave house it would be considered "abandonment" she already has her foot in the door with the courts as a GAL and soon to be LCSW, so im feeling very shakey on the L thing dont have the money anyway!
What I could use is more info on MLC for WAW she is 43 and seems to be VERY distant now even after a few days.
No OM that I could think of just alot of texts to older children friends ect...... unless there is a EA going on, dont know.
zengypsy BTW I am originally from CT. Hows The weather down there. (little humour)
Well it happened there is OM. Her high school friend whom we both know from our local watering hole. I am crushed I sobbed intensely (she was gone). incredible pain, I had osteomylytis as a kid (akin to bone cancer) and it didnt even compare.
after 1 second of despair I flew into DB mode with such ferver and got incredibly angry. She showed up and I was soooo cold you could have frosted beers on my forehead.
My W went out with a friend tonite left the kids but returned with a gormet soda that I liked giving it to my son to give to me.
She saw my frigdidity and was taken off guard and left, that I think.
The OM lost his GF, left 1 week ago. Has a huge House and lots of money. She is infatuated with him (thanks facebook). Wants (probibly to move in with him and my kids. Didnt want to snoop but she is on my laptop downstairs (sleeping on the couch due to the tv)so she says. I found a Tarot card reading on the history that says :"When I divorce Bobby what will my relationship be like with Om?" i AM SOO HURT. Is this a MLC? cannot destroy my family over this.
Bobby man, I'm so sorry for you. Trust me, I know the pain first hand. One great thing you have going for you, you are starting with the resources here. I wish I would have found them sooner and had it when I found out my W was having an A.
First step is just getting control and calming down. Anything you need to do, you need to do with a clear head. Don't let your emotions let you do something you'll regret (something I did many times before finding this resource).
You will need to confront this, but don't rush it. Make sure you do so with strength and compassion. I'm sure you'll get plenty of good advice here. I say wait for now, get strong, read, and then start planning your next move.
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
Can anyone relate to me something about a WAW with a MLC. How do they behave,what happens with the OM, ect. I need to read about a sitch similar so I can buckile down with DB and keep focused.
I needless to say did not sleep last night so that is why I am posting @ 5:00 AM EST.
Can anyone relate to me something about a WAW with a MLC. How do they behave,what happens with the OM, ect. I need to read about a sitch similar so I can buckile down with DB and keep focused.
From what I have gathered about MLC, there is no real definition, because every situation is different.
There may be similar patterns by coincidence only because we are all human. But MLC is like someone said about porno, "I can't describe it to you, but I know it when I see it."
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
Had some small baby steps I think today. was able to change my tone in my voice on the phone and she seemed to respond better to me also lingered a bit on the other end felt like she really wanted to say something...could be OM disclosure not sure.
S11 has new england wrestling meet this weekend and originally I was gonna meet them there on sat afternoon after work.W booked motel room for 2 nights no talk of inviting me now,really [censored].
She is going hot and heavy with OM found online tarot card readings and facebook messeges(didnt read too painfull) with questions such as with I move in with OM this summer,ect.I Said nothing tonite.How long can these A last? He must be fulfilling her emotional needs and is calm and soft spoken pays alot of attention to her such as "meeting for coffee" W mother,sister aunt are/were bipolar. Father had mental issues as well.
W has become a bit of a clothes hoarder due to her abandonment issues with fly by night SM and her EX H who left her when she was pregnant with child.Are her abandonment issues partially driving this? Is she punishing me for the actions of her first husband? She is on ADHD meds and is perrimenopausal now hormones could be a factor in a MLC.
