IW - I can relate. My W and have been splitting custody of our six month old S, so most of our interaction is around our S or the actual swapping of our S. I continue to be as upbeat and confident as possible, but I do wonder if it is too much. She has mentioned to me in the past that I didn't have to be so stoic in the face of this really difficult situation. Has she ever said anything about your general attitude around her?
How often do you take care of D2? I have been having a really difficult time recently with the ideas my W has been having concerning custody. It eats me up inside that there is a possibility that she will go for full custody soon by "putting the needs of our S in front of our own". Ugh.
Me - 33 W - 33 S - 9 months M - 3 years T - 5.5 years Bomb - 12/14/10 ILYBNILWY PA discovered - 1/18/11 PA began - 3/22/10 Separated
Country In my sitch we are not going to file until the house is sold. A D would just be easier without a house involve. I'm wondering if your wife might be thinkinh the same thing. This is good bc it buys a guy some time. My W did threaten to file early but it was just a bluff. My W is so tired of living with her mom. She brings it up from time to time. I just validate it and move on. I have been doing remodeling in our house. Just doing it all with a big smile on my face. I know it burns her butt that I get this nice house and she is living in a bedroom. Oh well consequences consequences. Doing this work to our house is a big part of my GAL. Not letting her actions slow me down
Sparks I have my D2 every other night and weekend. I love seeing her but I know this swapping around so much must be so confusing to her. I feel so bad for her. No two year old should have to worry about what bed she is gonna sleep in tonight r when she will see mommy or daddy again. Some days it is so hard to believe that my W would actually want to make this permanent. How can she stand to only see our D2 half of the time, it's killing me! I guess it puts it in perspective how much she really doesn't want to be with me. She is willing to miss half of her D2 childhood rather than work on our M.
Made it thru a pretty good weekend. My W had our D2 and I went to my uncles's for the weekend. His W's cooking is a lot better than mine, I'll tell ya that. My W watched our dog this weekend and I had to stop and pick him up yesterday afternoon. When I arrived my W was sitting in a recliner and our D2 was asleep on her chest. Our D2 woke up when I came in the room and immediately wanted me to hold her. I held her for awhile and rocked her while she woke up and had some juice. We were talking and laughing while this was going on. When I went to leave, my D2 begged to come home with me. It took a little bit to calm her down. Finally, when she was distracted by cartoons, I snuck out to the kitchen to the dog ready to go. My W followed me, she gave me some coupons she had cut out for me. The convo was good. I tried to be upbeat, but not overly enthusiastic like I feel I have been in the past. She brought up cleaning our basement and separating our things again. I said I didn't have a lot going on this weekend, but she said she has plans, with OM....who knows.
I headed home and spent the rest of my afternoon working on my remodeling project in the basement. Really happy with how it's going. Anyways W texted me a few times about things that are going on with her mom's bf and her mom. At about 8 she sent me a video of our D2 singing. This was hard to watch, almost broke down just watching it. I wrote back how much I missed our D2. W wrote me that our D2 missed me too and that they were cuddled in bed watching cinderella. I left it at that. Damn I would like to be in that bed too. Gonna have my D2 tonite and I can't freaking wait
Forgot to mention, I made a basic DB mistake that I have to watch myself on. I brought some mail to my W yesterday, one thing was the bill for our D2 health insurance. We take turns paying it. She was looking thru her mail and found it. She immediately said "I have no idea how I'm gonna pay this." I said don't worry about it, that I would cover it. She adamantly refused to take the money and said she would figure out something. I need to try to stop being a Mr. Fixit. I should have just validated that money must be tight for her and let it go. Fixing is still second nature for me but I gotta work on that.
An honest mistsake. Its so hard not to want to help them dspite all they have done. I know I have been with my W for almost 20 years so its difficult to see them struggle, but struggle they must.
They have to be aware of how their decsions impact on everything. I know you know that. Dont beat yourself up too much.
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BITS M-46 W-42 M-16y T-19 y s10 s15 BombDec.19/09 Sep-F16/10 Sep Papers signed by W- June 30/10 Recon July 5/10 PA foundOut- Oct 30/10 Mental HospNov/10 moved out Nov/10 Leg Sep Mar 15/11
Alright I'll tell ya'll a weird little update from my sitch. Like I have said my W is staying by her mom's house. Her parents are divorced for a long time now and her mom has been dating a guy for the last 8 years. Well them two have been up and down lately and friday night she finally kicked him out. He didn't know were to turn and stayed the weekend at the super 8 in town. When I went to pick up my dog on sunday, my MIL asked me if maybe this guy could stay by me until he finds a new place. I have always gotten along well with him, so I said that would be fine. So now here I am living in bizzaro world. My MIL's bf and I are staying at my house, while our women sleep under another roof. Not in my wildest dreams would I have dreamt this scenario up. All I can do is just smile and laugh to myself....what a life it is!!
What next I wonder? Nothing clever to say so ill leave it at that. 9
BITS M-46 W-42 M-16y T-19 y s10 s15 BombDec.19/09 Sep-F16/10 Sep Papers signed by W- June 30/10 Recon July 5/10 PA foundOut- Oct 30/10 Mental HospNov/10 moved out Nov/10 Leg Sep Mar 15/11
