When life hands you lemons add alcohol and stir!

[MichelleLT]

As for Gabe, I'm glad to hear everything is going well. You guys have come so far!

I think the distinction of talking with him instead of to him is very important. I don't think talking this stuff over with him will be easy, and it might cause some rocky days. But, it is important to be able to move forward, and those things do need to be addressed.

I always liked MWD's suggestion of setting aside a time to talk over those issues and setting a limit on how long that conversation could last. Maybe you can first ask him about setting aside a time to talk over those issues, let him decide on a time and place and make it clear that you just want to understand and move forward.