Another New Day 2

[♪CS♪]

No easy answers islander. One thing that I need to go back to is setting goals. I have not done so for a long time and I have lost track of what I even had before. I think this may help in determining if what we are doing is working. However, it is still hard to determine the proper expectations, and to know how to get there.

[islander]

strong,
use this time to your advantage. read as much as you can and be the best that you can be. I think back to when we lived together and think that maybe if I would have done things differently, followed db rules more, that I wouldn't be here right now. I will never know. I found this site too late for that. then with the time I had, I think I wasted it. I was so lost and hurt that I couldn't function, and was acting on emotions even when I was trying not to. get as many books as you can and read them if you are not already. I will check out your thread. hang in there.

[islander]

So, I am not doing to well today. For the past couple of weeks, and I don't know how often, my W has been complaining either to me or her parents that she doesn't feel well or is sick (seems to be mostly in the mornings). Today, she called her mom and said that she was very sick, and needed her to take her D to school. About 4 hours later, I noticed on runkeeper that she ran 8 miles, and commented how good the weather was. My heart sank, and I think I started to cry. I say I think bc my emotions were all over the place. I don't know if I am jumping to conclusions, but I think my W could be pregnant. It is either that or stress, but I don't know of many things that can make you so sick in the morning that you can't function, and then run a marathon a few hours later.

I talked to FIL tonight as we were getting our equipment ready to go fishing tomorrow morning. I told him what I was thinking, and he said it crossed his mind. I told him if she was, that it had to be intentional, bc she is on birth control. He said that is exactly what my MIL said when he said something to her this morning.

WTF. I could be jumping to conclusions, over analyzing, there could be other reasons, but I know what seems to fit best. I hope I am wrong, I pray I am wrong.

If this is the case, I am done...done with everything. That is something that I can not handle, I can not be a part of. I am going to prepare myself for the worst, and start believing that this may become a reality. I know no matter how much I prepare for this, it will be the most devastating thing to ever occur in my life.

[ninelives]

Isalnder, please breathe and try to relax. I also fear that may happen to my W some day as she is being careless because I discussed this with her when she was on the way to the mental hospital and she let it slip that no condomes were used.

Why bother conjuring up more ways to hurt ourselves. We have to let them go and let them find their way. And if this way inlcudes them having a child, then you know your answer. There is NO going back from that because they will be connected to OM forever then.

I pray this is not the case for you Islander, I know you would be devasted and I have no words to take away that pain.

Unfortunately, it still falls into the category of beyond our control.

Try and put this out of your mind.

Peace.
9

[islander]

thanks 9, i know i shouldn't assume something like that, but i think i need to REALLY prepare myself for what may be. I am just going to really start thinking that this is over. hope it is not, but really??? if she comes back it will be a pleasant surprise to say the least.

[♪CS♪]

Don't assume anything. It will just drive you crazy. I have to say though, I have thought about the same thing before. What a mess these women are making of their lives....

[Denver_2010]

You are jumping to conclusions with very little evidence Islander. Either way, it is beyond your control.

BITS
Denver

[grr]

denver is right...........stop letting her affect you so, detach

it will keep you sane

[ninelives]

Islander. Concerned about you buddy. Any news on your front.

Hope you are doing well.

Thinking about you .

9

[islander]

Been kinda MIA 9.
I will post more tonight, but I fully expect a 2x4. I haven't been db this week, or going dark, but contact has been at a minimum so to speak.