IMO we need to evaluate the state of the relationship we currently have with our spouses to determine how any of the things we are putting into practice applies. The R is never truly gone. My SIL and her XH still interact after 21 yrs.
As recently as last summer W and I were laughing and friendly with each other. I remember her remarking our friendship is one of the reasons we have lasted. Looking back and analyzing from the perspective of now there were cracks in the R then and being a better friend would probably helped alleviate where W and I now find ourselves. She may have been trying to tell me that.
It is a two-way street as the R cracked W could have spoke up at any time. In early winter as things began to spiral I pushed for MC. I didn’t realize she made her decision to abandon the R until the bomb.
Now I think I need to be friendly, but not her friend if that makes any sense. Not as a tactic, but as a matter of personal integrity. I struggled with that recently.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
