Need help...what am I doing wrong?

[InAPickle]

Sandi is right Hap.
You do not know the future.
Do not fear what you do not know.

Consider yourself on a journey and remember:
You have no control over what your H does.
You only have control over yourself.

Yes - it stung the day I was served the D papers,
b/c I was trying to delay and put it off as long as possible.
I hoped in vain that W would come to her senses beforehand.
I smoked four cigars in a row and drank several beers that day.
Talked for hours with a supportive confidant on the phone.
But it didn't kill me.

You need to work on mental and emotional detachment from your H, so that your mood, your happiness, your seratonin levels are not affected by him or dependent on his words and actions. It won't happen overnight. It took me some months to dismount the emotional rollercoaster. But make it your goal. Get support from confidants and focus on yourself.

I've heard that those who have survived nazi and communist concentration camps with the most peace of soul are the obscure saints who journeyed past their own self pity, then past their anger, then past their hate for those torturing them, to finaly reach a stage of compassion. Yes - they actually felt sorry for and pity for their captors, knowing just what a mess they truly were.

Get there. Stand on higher ground. Be the rock of strength, the boulder, the one who no one can resist.

You're in my prayers,
Pickle