Does being friends really always make it easier on the WAS? Or can this actually make the WAS consider the person they are leaving? Do the problems that caused the M to collapse have something to do with whether or not being friends may work or not work?
Unfortunately there is no one-size fits all model. What might be right for you, may not be right for some. (Okay I stole that from the Diff'rent Strokes Theme, but it applies.) I think some Ws respond differently.
For me, friendship was critical. Our relationship started out of a friendship. My W also and still does considers me her best friend. My W had to get the friendship feelings back before she could even consider working on the M. Without that, I would've been sunk. So at least for the for the first month after the bomb, I tried to be her friend as I always was. but I didn't try to be her best friend, if that make sense. She appreciated that effort. We we had one of our first MC sessions, she brought that up. But being friends is not the same as a co-dependency.
I think for some women, it might make it easier to move on, especially if they are in some kind of fog. But I think for the majority, it makes them see what they are missing. It doesn't necessarily make them come back thought.
I think many married people say that their spouse is there best friend. There is a reason for that and a meaning to that.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
