It is not just you. I still have lingering anger. As you know - my ex was a horror as well. Not as nitpicky as yours - but a cheap, nasty jerk just the same.
It is 10 years since my Ex's affair and soon it will be 10 since our split. Only in the past couple of months have we begun to talk again a bit but that is since our oldest son nearly died and was comatose for 2 weeks then I had to tell him I'm moving away. That does provoke some conversation.
Your ex is absusive to the kids. That behaviour wreaks of it. I'm not sure if there is anything you CAN do, other than to try to soften the blow and be the safe place they can escape to. It saddens me that she uses your son as a pawn in the little game of control.
Enjoy your happiness. You deserve it. Build on it. Focus less on her and maybe she'll go away. At least you know you will have less to deal with when the kids are finally grown.
