So it’s been awhile since I posted any updates W and I have spoken very little in the past two weeks. We spoke on Friday for a few minutes but it was like 6. Today I had to call her about taxes so I did and this exchange went unlike I was expecting
H: Hey how are you
W: I am good and you?
H: I am good. Hey did you file already?
W: Yeah I filed. Those are the papers you signed remember.
H: I mean the taxes.
W: Oh LOL. No I have not filed the taxes yet.
H: My accountant would like to know blah blah
W: Ok well I am filing blah blah
H: how is work going?
W: It’s going did I tell you I have an interview Wed?
M: nope with whom
W: blah blah I don’t think I will take it though. It’s less money than I am making now.
M: oh D is cooking dinner for me tomorrow night. I am eating peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a hardboiled egg that is all she can make. She made me a hardboiled egg already and she was a typical woman. I had to tell her 20 times it was great and she kept saying yeah right you don’t like it.
W: LOL yeah you have to tell her as soon as you eat it that you like it. Don’t wait for her to ask you if not she feels like you don’t like it.
We spoke for about 45 minutes about D and school. Then I started venting about work a little bit and she gave me some suggestions as to how to handle my current dilemma. I thanked her and told her I would take her suggestions and appreciated her input. Then it turned for her
W: Well at least you are getting promoted next month.
M: I hope so
W: I am still trying to figure out a job I like. At this rate it will take me 30yrs to get out of debt. Well I know what I have to do but I am dreading doing it. That is to get two jobs and I will have no life, even less than what I have now. Working on this resume is proving to be really hard. I can only use the library computer and my work hours and library hours don’t mesh. I am tired of being my S and M overdraft protection also. My mom I understand she is on a fixed income but my sister has a H and she can’t manage her finances.
M: Why doesn’t her H help her out
W: Cause he makes her feel like sh!t every time she ask puts her down and lowers her self esteem. I know she makes good money and he does not help at all. He just makes her feel worse.
H: I see. Sounds like you are driving around you are not going home?
W: Looking for a place to eat. I eat out mostly which tears my stomach up but buying groceries has become so expensive so I am just driving around my town in circles. Some days I am like yay look at me I am making it on my own and other days not so much. It’s not fair H because I was a good W I was good to your D I was good to your mom I was good to your family and a lot of good that did me.
M: You were good. The best. You are a good woman all around
W: Yeah I know and now look at my life almost 30yrs not a pot to pi$$ in living in an apartment with stuff that does not belong to me. I can land a better job outside of this town but then again I can’t afford to move so I can’t look elsewhere. I thought maybe I would buy a house but that was just wishful thinking.
M: Have you been to the restaurant where I proposed again since you went with friend?
W: He!! No
M: Well who knows maybe one day I will invite you back there
W: Maybe
The convo was very somber and she was depressed we spoke for about two hours and the following was the last 5-10 minutes.
W: I don’t know why we did not work out H and I am sorry it turned out this way for you and for me
I was quiet.
W: When we talk I think that what u want me to say is for me to say I want to try again
H: I know you don’t want that I just enjoy talking to you. You are a good friend to me and your voice is soothing to me
I was quiet again
W: Why do I get the feeling you want to say more
M: There is a lot I would say but not today
W: Anything you have not said before?
M: Oh I don’t know. I still might have some stuff to say that I have not said
W: You want to give me the cliff version?
M: No cause then I would get the cliff answer
W: Oh so it’s a question
M: No more of a statement
W: and you don’t want to make it?
M: No not at this time. You are tired and I have kept you on the phone long enough.
W: Ok H we will talk again have a good night
That was it. Again I edit some because I am not going to post of the small talk we made for 2 hours. This was the first time we have spoken in almost two weeks. She sounded very somber and very depressed and I did feel bad for her at one point she said
W: I am not telling you this for you to feel sorry for me or to get your pity
