One of my goals from the day I read DR for the first time was to slow the pace of the D. W wanted it filed in February and finalized by April. We are still discussing the terms of dissolution.
I’m pretty sure we’re underwater on the house anyway, and with the other debt we come out of this with the clothes on our backs, a few household items, and any 401K money left over. There is enough in my 401K to cover it, not much more, but if W goes through with it we start over with little more than what we had 29 yrs ago.
She does not see the pit we dug together or the one she is digging now.
This is not what W wants. Essentially what she keeps proposing is a housing down payment for herself to be financed from equity, half my 401K, spousal support, and I retain most of the debt. This is a fantasy as the equity isn’t there, and I will not permit myself to be used in this manner. My L told me the court in this State would not permit such a lopsided agreement and if I was trying to agree to it I could find another L.
So as messed up as it is selling the house is the best alternative I can agree to. She doesn’t want to be seen as the bad guy making me sell the house so I hope to hear other ideas from her and her L.
9,
Patience, I have in abundance as long as I think I have a reasonable chance. I know there is frustration posted here. I come here to vent and bleed. It is best not to leave a blood trail where W can find it. Eventually I’ll decide to cut my losses, but I’ll be at this until I am beat down past that point. Guess one could say I am a stubborn SOB.
17 years ago for a few weeks there was an OM. If there is another now or tomorrow it’s not a deal breaker, but as you say it complicates things greatly.
It is a marathon. Always wanted to run the Marine Corps Marathon, maybe I should make this a long term goal for GAL if my knees hold up this summer.
LIS,
I am so glad you have begun posting again. I am so sorry where this ride has taken you. You were one of the first people who touched me here. I hope and pray the best outcome for you.
I hadn’t really considered a boundary in that context. All of the boundaries I have set relate to how W and I interact now. I have not given a lot of thought to what would cause me to be done. I will have to think on it some more.
Grit,
As always there is meaning throughout your post. This old grunt needs to digest and absorb it.
Thank you all for giving of yourselves.
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
