Right now it's going to feel as if nothing is helping. That's natural. You MUST continue to do the right things. Number 1 on that list is you and your child. As long as you keep telling me you are taking your meds and making your appts, then I feel good that you are keeping your head about you. Please be sure to continue to update with that info. It has me concerned.
You need to detach, sweetie. I cannot stress this enough. If nothing is helping, then you are going through the motions and not genuinely trying to detach. Detach is way easier said than done and you have not been in this process very long. There is an urgency about this situation as you are having your baby in May and would naturally want this resolved. You should not be going through this alone. But I want you to understand the real possibility that this will not be resolved by May.
Talk to me about these counseling sessions. Has he said he wanted counseling? Was this your idea? Was this a joint agreement? Tell me the specifics of how this came about.
I find it interesting what his friend said about him questioning his ability to be a good father. He is feeling overwhelmed and you must do whatever you can to take that feeling away. I know you want to jump up and down and say that none of this is right, he's a jerk, nobody does stuff like this, he needs to honor his commitments, he needs to come home... Unfortunately, however, that is not your reality at the moment. Right or wrong doesn't matter here. The only thing that matters is that you play this smart.
I hate writing these messages to you because frankly all I want to do is give you a big hug. I am very worried about you and your situation. You have done so many things to be proud of. Heck, I wasn't able to GAL this well and I don't have a baby to worry about! So understand we all want to help you and certainly not criticize you.
Big giant hugs for you, sweetie! I'm praying for you.
