The idea is to see if something 'works' has good results. If it does? Continue it. If it doesn't pull your head out of the fire and try something else.
That worked for him and his wife, but it wasn't easy. That didn't stop him though, he didn't say screw it its too hard and move onto something that didn't work so well but easier.
There is still one tough part of this though. Figuring out if what you are doing is working.
For example in my situation. For a solid month and a half, I basically did the same thing. Friendly and dim I guess would be the best description. During this time I saw my W be friendly in return and did not bring up D. So does that mean what I did was working? What should the expectations be for something “working?”
Then this last week I started the week by being more dark than normal, but then also tried something else new and through out a comment about our “old plans.” Then Friday she brings up selling the house. What caused this? Was it the period of me ignoring her? Or was it the comment I made about our plans? Or did it have nothing to do with what I did?
I think the big thing here are the different expectations people should have based on their situation. I am really thinking the most I can expect right now while my W is still having an affair is that she is not actively working on D. If that is the right expectation to have, I think going back to a “friend zone” might be the best thing I can do. But if I should have a different expectation, if her simply standing still is not “working” I need to think about doing something different.
Head = Spinning
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
