The year of not my problem

[AJM]

Thank you both for those replies. DML, I was thinking earlier that you hit the head on the nail - I am waiting. I was coddling to some degree and over the past six months have been reeling that back in. Part of the difficulty is the knowledge that my daughter has some choices. Perhpaps that's where the issue is in my head. I haven't figured out how to deal with that aspect.
I did start reaching out to some professionals today. Should be meeting with them later in the week to discuss and strategize. The conversation with my friend was last night and this morning I found that I couldn't shake it. That he's right on many levels.
I've been the sole parent (mostly) for the last several years. The dynamic is that my daughter also wants a relationship with her mother. I get that. I'm not hung up on the coddling. That's past and was more because of my own inability to gain my footing. I was surprised by all of this and while not an excuse, I can look back and see that I didn't have my head in the game for quite a while. At the same time, my daughter was on her best behavior (kind of holding her breath to see what would happen). But I can see that in the past few months things have changed drastically and she is more overtly taking advantage of the situation. I don't blame her, but I can't let that happen either. I can only be her parent and do my best. What I'm trying to figure out is what is the best for her - to force her into therapy, or to wait a little longer and see if it works itself out. So far, I've waited to see how things would work out and to see if it's really at that point. I'm becoming very convinced it is. This is new to me, and I'm no expert. That's why I asked.
Thanks for the feedback, all of you. Very helpful in figuring this out.

And you are correct - I don't need her mom's approval nor permission to do the right thing. Never did and don't plan on it. I also really don't care about the legal aspects, except where it concerns my daughter's well being. I'm much more concerned about my daughter and can easily let the rest go - they aren't important comparitively speaking.

Cheers,
AJ