Well, we had a little exchange and we are set to meet tomorrow after work to pick up D. Nothing too interesting, we were both friendly. She bought D a new hat and sent me a pic, very cute. She said D was likes caring around a hula hoop, so she bought me one for the house too. Yeah, there I go again...
I'm just hoping the house talk goes away for a bit. I need all the time I can get.
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
It's strange, for over a month I had no problem biting my tongue without a real strong urge to “talk the W out of her decision.” I was content with the fact that I could not change her mind; it was something she had to do on her own.
Our talk on Friday reopened this part of my mind. Now I find myself constantly thinking about all the things I want to say to her. How much she is giving up. Talk some sense into her. As much as limbo hurt, at least things were not progressing on the D front. Her bringing up the house scares me she will start moving things forward.
I just need to get in and out of these next two meetings with her as quickly as possible. Really hoping she doesn’t bring anything up for a while…
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
Its very strange but I am feeling the exact some way country. Having some really strange thouhgts. Disbelief is resurfacing again ,like I cant believe my angel has done this. But we have to get control of these feeling Country. WE Have to .
I think we are very similar in that we have analytical minds and when something doesnt make sense, we replay it over and over again until it does.
Trouble is, AND WE BOTH KNOW THIS, we cant force someone to love us no matter how effed up the situation may seem. We have to ride it out period.
I dont know why these feelings are in the forefront so much right now. Well I guess for me its because she said she wanted go come back 2 weeks ago and for you its because of the R talk you had recently.
If we focus on these red herrings, we will surly fail.
Stay strong Country, things will get better.
Dont do something you will regret and also set you back.
She knows you love her and want her, show her that you can live without her because you might have to.
Sorry Country.
9
BITS M-46 W-42 M-16y T-19 y s10 s15 BombDec.19/09 Sep-F16/10 Sep Papers signed by W- June 30/10 Recon July 5/10 PA foundOut- Oct 30/10 Mental HospNov/10 moved out Nov/10 Leg Sep Mar 15/11
I know it's hard Country...you just want to grab them and say WHAT ARE YOU THINKING! Just remember that your W isn't thinking logicaly right now. So nothing you say will make a difference. BUT...your actions will speak loudly. Be the man you know you need to be. Be confidant, secure, and happy. Show her what she is losing. When you are done with your meeting and she isn't around, then you can shed a tear or two if you need. Be strong in front of her. You can do this!
"I am trying to help her to be a little more responsible...When I reminded her of her appt she missed with the manager, I told her she needs to remember things like that."
It's called enabling. Stop doing that. If you continue to do things for her while she's gone, what's the point of her coming back?
She's a grown woman. The faster she hits rock bottom, the faster she will return to the M.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
"I am trying to help her to be a little more responsible...When I reminded her of her appt she missed with the manager, I told her she needs to remember things like that."
It's called enabling. Stop doing that. If you continue to do things for her while she's gone, what's the point of her coming back?
She's a grown woman. The faster she hits rock bottom, the faster she will return to the M.
I realized that I have been reacting from fear the last couple of days as a result of our convo on Friday. I need to put the fear out of my head and go back to dealing with things with a clear head.
I really noticed this when we had a short telephone call today. There was one logistical item regarding our D tonight that I needed to ask her. It would have either been a long text or a short call, so I went with the short call. I was really fast with the call. Question, OK, bye. Now this might not be a bad way to do it, but I wasn’t relaxed in our discussion like I normally am. I rushed it out of fear that she may bring up something I did not want to face.
If I continue to operate out of fear, I will make mistakes. While I still plan to make the pickup tonight as short as possible, I need to go into it with a clear head and without fear. Be relaxed, confident and polite.
Anyone have a valium handy?
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
Country my man, something I have noticed is that calling my W instead of texting seems to bring better long term results. I feel like it is easy to hide behind texts. Like they give you more credit for actually having the gonads to call em and face the awkwardness that is between you. We still do some texting bc it is convient but I am making myself call her more.
Yeah IW, I know what you mean. As much as us facing it, it makes them face it. I just really have any reason to call. It is usually only when we have these one off items with our D. Our normal schedule is pretty set.
Well, the pickup went well. I went in strong and ready. I was happy, confident and cool. She was friendly but maybe a little on the cold side. But she was good overall. Now I did do one little thing. I had talked about giving her the new Radiohead album a while back and never did it. Today she had things to give me. They were technically things for my D, a hula hoop and a "magic wand" but really she doesn't have to do this. If she simple wants to get our D a present there is no reason to give them to me for our home. I am not trying to over analyze but anyways. So, I thought about it for a second and thought it might be time to give her something. I said "Oh, I have something for you too" and got the disc out of the car. I gave it to her and mentioned she might like to have something to listen to on her way to work. She asked how I liked the album and acted genuinely excited to hear it. I think it cam across well, I was pretty nonchalant about it, so I don't think it came off as pursuing. Overall I was very laid back acting through the whole encounter. We parted ways with a "have a good night."
I really think this is my best approach to get her back into a holding pattern for now. I feel like that is all I can ask for at this point.
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
