Standing for my live-in MLC'er/WAS

[angel61]

The weekend I had been dreading turned out not to be so bad after all!

For those who don't know, H and I, who are in the same field, attended a conference in OW's city. OW of course attended too, as she is also in the same field as we are (I guess at this stage you mostly meet people from work!)

The whole time we were there H seemed to be very careful to let me know where he was, with whom, and to almost emphasize that he was not with OW, except on Saturday that I knew he would see her at a party at her boss' (his former boss) house.

Friday he was in and out of meetings with his colleagues at work; including dinner (of which I was sure of coz we had drinks with them at the lobby before they left). Saturday AM he brought D to see her kindergarten BFF who lives there, in the afternoon he had a meeting. I saw OW on Saturday.... and I am happy to say that she did not look good at all that day! She was in a rumpled off white linen pantsuit .... and 4 inch heels she did not know how to walk in. I know, I am being nasty, but allow me the satisfaction every now and then....I was wearing a nice dress and 4inch wedges (cute ones!) as well .... showing off my legs, which of course I know look nice and slim .... and when we saw each other, I smiled at her and she smiled back.... then I saw her looking at my legs! Checking out the competition, huh? I half wished tha H would see her today, looking that way, as he absolutely hates rumpled linen suits! Thats why we both do not own any linen clothes! altho' with this MLC things he might just suddenly turn round and love the runpled look....whatever!

After the party, he took great pains to explain that he got lost on the way home, showed me his iPhone where he had the route he took outlined, and also he made us dress up to go have ice cream and walk around dowtown, as it was not too late yet. Next day, he brought us to lunch, then in the evening, when me and D were headed back home, he texted and called several times to let me know he was having dinner with mutual friends....OK, OK, not with OW! I did have a feeling tho' that he was supposed to attend a course with OW earlier in the afternoon, but that she did not show up. He seemd sad and tired when he got back to the hotel after the afternoon session, and he lay down and closed his eyes. I felt sad for him, so I came and massaged his brow lightly. He did not resist. I felt myself tearing up so I stood up and left.

This morning again he called to let me know he was on his way to a meeting with his boss!

For me though, the important thing is that I was not feeling the ups and downs of the sitch any more. Whether he saw or did not see OW seemed not to matter any more to me. I actually feel that his seeing OW would probably be a good thing, so that instead of having fantasies about her, putting her on a pedestal, thinking that she is perfect, he would see her and know her for what she is. And not be too emotional in his decisions. And based on some info I had from people from her home country, she is not really that good in her field, is actually not that well liked. My sense is that she is using my H, as right now she is calling him for help on her research project, and my H is really, really good and smart. He was the one who helped her get into this coveted post-doctoral training she now is on. She's really good at this acting helpless, like a princess...needing to be rescued. Hopefully my H will see this soon and start being out off by it. I have a feeling he will soon be.

My H and I - one of the things that brought us together was a mutual respect and admiration, and the fact that we were both good in our field of work. He also liked that fact that I was strong and independent.

So here I am, back at work. H is still there for one more night, I am just praying, and trusting God to take care of me and H and trusting H to make the right choices.

But I feel OK, not scared, not anxious at all. I think I am getting there.

Thanks everyone, you all have been instrumental in getting em to this happy place.