Havent posted in awhile. Just been trying to take things in and sort them out. I met with H and our attys last tuesday for a financial meeting. The meeting was more about reconcilation. Surprisingly both lawyers have pushed to do everything there is to safe this marriage. I of course want to. I did not get the same feeling from H. He was so uncomfortable taking about it. My L had lots of questions for H about when H thought our M ended. My H said 2002. I lost it. He did leave in 2002 but came back 3 months later. My L asked H if he ever told me that he was unhappy for 9 years. Of course the answer was no. But H did go on to say that he had told other people and that the other people would be willing to sign a sworn affidavit to the fact. I just couldnt hold it together. Really? Unhappy for 9 years? The man who lived in my house, slept in my bed, shared meals, laughs, vacations, etc.....has been unhappy. I just felt then and there that i dont even know this man. I felt he was so disconnected. The L asked H if OW was still in the picture. Of course there was no yes or no answer. He said there were many obstacles to have a relationship. She lives out of state. I dont know if he has been to visit her lately. I know their last meeting was end of feb. I really dont know what to do. I still want to do everything to save this but i feel i fighting by myself. I see a DB twice a month and have an appt this friday. The L's suggested my H take that appt and try some therapy. I gave him the info and im sure its still in his pocket. We have a motion for reconcilation hearing coming up in 2 weeks. It is where a judge will recommend counselling or not. It is not the law where i live that H would have to follow the judges recommendation. Thats why the L's were encouraging H to meet with DB coach before then. I dont believe he will. He has totally detached. He wouldnt make eye contact with me. He wouldnt say hello to me or goodbye. I looked my best that day. H got so uncomfortable whiling discussing our M issues that all of a sudden he had a meeting to go to. You think at this point i would be mad and angry. But yet i am not. I have stilled tried to stay dark with him. I just feel like he's totally gone. I feel defeated. What should I do?
