It has been years since I had my own thread on here
and life has been wonderful so far
of course there is one glitch in the road and I think I am on the right path but because it is hard to distance myself from this one, I am shooting it out here to get some other perspectives.
If you have been around forever, you know that I don't do marriage well. I actually found this site for #2 and my sociopathic husband (shiver)
that one is done with (wooohooooo)
but my two amazing sons are from my #1 and THAT is where my new problem arises from.
My 1st marriage lasted a year and was incredibly abusive. I was strangled, beat up, knocked down stairs, the whole 9 yards. I left with the boys and anything I could fit into my van in an afternoon when he was out.
He saw the boys very sketchily (I know that isn't a word...) for about a year or so afterward (maybe 1 time per month) and was a douchebag about everything. In a nutshell...he wanted nothing more to do with them, told me he thought of them as dead and wanted no updates etc about them. I have kept the email address he knew open for this whole time and made sure any address changes were left with the child support worker etc. because I didn't want to be accused of denying him his legal rights.
He basically went off the grid...no sign of life for the last 10 years or so. He owes over $55,000 in back child support(as of 4 months ago) and about $5000 in numerous other bills from the divorce that I eventually just paid.
So finally he is found (thanks Facebook) and he is court ordered to pay all the back child support or go to jail. I will believe it when I see it
but this provided us with an address so I sent him the paperwork to sign over his legal rights as Cori wants to adopt the boys. We can do this without him signing over his rights but it is quicker and muuuuuuuuuuuuuch less expensive to have him sign the papers
of course he won't
he says he will if I say he doesn't owe that back child support
I don't really care about the money (although it sure would be nice to have) but I can't do that as the boys get MNCare in part because their dad is a douche
So, I draft another letter (very detached and legalize-ish) that says all his future child support will of course be forgiven but that he will still owe the back stuff (which he would anyway...I legally can't sign that away as it isn't mine to do that with...it is the boys')
so now he says since I won't do that he is going to fight to have visitation
I don't really believe it but he just might because he is such an arse.
Nick is almost 14 and DYlan is 13. At the age of 14 they can say they don't want visitation which NIck has already said but Dylan...Dylan can't AND he is on the fence because he wants his "dad" to love him even thought he doesn't remember him
JEremy was abussive to the boys after our divorce...neglected them, didn't feed them, exposed them to registered sex offenders, smacked them around....and I had to let him see them even though I documented all that stuff etc...the courts were very pro 50/50 custody. He balked on seeing them once he needed supervised visitation.
I don't want to let Dylan go with this scumbag who he doesn't know and who abused him when he was little.
I am contacting legal aid because I want to make sure that he just can't take DYlan and i am hoping a judge would not court order visitation for Dylan but I am unsure of how that would operate...
