What to do next

[JustStunned]

Journaling: No contact with W since the meeting about taxes Weds night. On Friday a letter from my L arrived, snail mail. It’s unusual as all of the correspondence has been F2F or through email. The document explained for budgetary reasons I will need to sell the house and spit debt. It also suggested a F2F meeting between the two Ls and W and me.

This is the meeting W and I spoke about on Weds. She hadn’t seen the document or I suspect discussed other than the meeting with her L. The document was dated Weds, and selling the house is controversial for her. I don’t want to speculate as to why, but I know W told the kids last Dec 21st she would not take the house away from me or them.

Before the 2X4s begin to swing I really cannot afford to keep the house and meet all of the other obligations this D will place upon me financially. I and my family have a lot of emotional attachment to the house and property. To arrive at this decision I have had to detach from this also. I’d like to tell you I was 100% successful, but I spent part of this weekend grieving the loss. It not just the house, but also what to do with all the stuff the kids left secure in the thought we’d store it for them until they were ready to take it. I never planned on downsizing this soon.

Saturday, I took the dog for a long walk in the park. It was cold, but there were a few others out and about. I spoke to a few people about the dog and his size.

I started a FB page. Now I have to find photos and describe my interests. It should help me stay connected to family and friends. I’ve always been a private person and FB is foreign to me, but so is journaling and commenting on this board.

Two weeks ago W asked me to take a pic of her and the dog in our living room. It shows him sitting in front of her. She’s straddling him with her head above and behind his, arms wrapped around his shoulders. She’s using it in her FB profile.

Can someone explain to me how I was using this dog to dominate and intimidate her when he clearly has accepted her as an Alpha? Just more WAS/MLC craziness.

Spoke to my son on Sunday night. He returned home from training last week. We did not talk about the elephant in the room. We had a pleasant conversation about desert training. I hope he can get leave and come home before deploying, but I’ll understand if he chooses to stay away from the drama.

I lurk over in MLC. I don’t know how the vets do it. This can never progress until W processes the issue she ran away from home from the first time. I don’t know how I will find the capacity to forgive or the patience to outlast.