Journaling...

It has been bittersweet weekend. I dropped my parents at the airport for their trip back. On the way I took them to see NASA space center in houston. They loved it. For the one month i had my parents with me, it was good and bad. Good because i had someone in the house to talk and express myself. Bad because i had to deal with my mom's negativity. Everytime i was reminded that i was more like her and did not want to be. I guess that also drives me harder to work on myself. Even though i fought a lot with my mom, it was hard to see them leave. It was nice of them to give me the support during my time of need.

Sunday i just felt like laying watching all episodes of 'scrubs'. I just love that show. Its funny that the show is called comedy...but i think it is quite a serious show about life and relationships. I never thought i'd cry watching a TV show.Then wife calls up. I have been trying to see how i can keep our home without selling it. So we decided that we'd get the house appraised first. Wife called up to say that she's willing to accept a lower value on her share of the house because she feels like the lawyer has started to rip her off. I listened, even sympathized with her and at the end told her that i'll work with her to make sure that she does not talk to the lawyer a lot so that she'll get billed less.

I felt horrible for her. She told how she's trying to manage all this. I felt like telling her to just coma back. That i'll take care of her. That she need not be like this. That i can care of all 3 of us. I felt so helpless seeing my wife suffer like this. That just confirmed to me as to how much i still care for her and love her. I again formed the resolve that i'll still wait on her even if the divorce goes through. She's worth every second of it...


BITS
M 38
W 36
D 7
Married 15 yrs
W left for 6 months in 2009
W Filed for D 01/03/11
piecing now...