Piecing is almost harder than before #2...

[Harrier]

Honestly, I don't know how I feel about it. On one hand, I'm glad that our MC sees the potential in our relationship. All throughout the MC, he would always say "you guys are going to make it."
Yet, on the other hand I feel a bit like riding your bike for the first time without training wheels. My W and I talked about this a little and we kinda had the same perspective.

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Got a little reminder of how things have changed and how they still have a ways to go. I think when things are hitting on all cylinders , it's easy to forget where you are.

Okay, last weekend I brought up the sex issue. To my surprise, my W said something to the effect that we could start that up again. Okay so last Sunday, we ML (first time in 11 or so weeks). So Wednesday, I ask her again. She says Okay. Saturday, I push too much. (I'm thinking things are good, so why not) She says probably not that night, but maybe Sunday night. I did sense a weird shift in her mood.

Now I think a few months ago, I would have been really pissed at this and took it like she was rejecting me. But I just said okay.
She went to bed early and I didn't flip out on her.

So on Sunday, she's sitting on the couch and I come up behind her give her a hug. She kinda bristles, but I didn't really notice. Later on she apologized for her reaction to the hug, say that she feels like sometimes we are moving too fast towards closeness, but that we aren't there yet.

Sunday night, we finish watching Date Night, and she says "You ready to go upstairs." I stop her and say "I thought about what you said and maybe I am pushing things a little too much. We don't have to do anything tonight."" She says "I'd tell you if I didn't want to."

So we are lying the bed and she says "Can we just lay here for a min." "Okay," I say. Then she launches into it. She said that she feels kinda weird to be trying to move back into a regular sex life so quickly. I acknowledge what I've been doing too much pushing.

She's also been having a little problem with the closeness factor as well, like the surprise hug from that morning.(I've notice this as well) She says that it will take time and it's nothing against me. She said that she feels bad because she doesn't want me to feel bad about. I say it's okay because this is the communication we need. I also say that I do feel a little hurt, but it's not major.

She feels like she has no control over the sex part and that I"m not giving her a chance to initiate. She also said it was stupid to feel that way because ultimately she can say "yes" or "no" and that I was great when she did say no. I tell her that I will leave 100% of the initiating to her until she feels better about that. She says no. But wants to do an every other time.

She she decides to just go to bed. She gives me a hug and kiss. I think we are okay. No one was hurt or po'ed..

I look at it and we handled things totally different. We talked, were honest and open. She felt that she could say no to me and trust that I wouldn't freak out. I rewarded that trust by behaving appropriately. I trust that she will want to ML again and let me know.

then last night she sleeps as close to me as she's done in a while.