A quick update on my "difficult decision". Got some good advice here that the typical OR talk was going to leave me looking weak and needy, which is exactly what I need to avoid. But I felt I really needed to let W know where her R with her boss is headed, and that it wasn't a secret to me.
Realized the way out while reading some of the Taoist proverbs. Thought I might start by planting a seed about how feelings can grow...
W is trying to eat better. But while shopping for son's bday party I picked up a bag of chips and put them in the closet. Later I put them on the table. W said she's not eating any - trying to stay in shape. Later, I opened the bag, and had a couple chips. I put them in a nice bowl before I left to run some errands. Came home and they were ALL gone. W said I really didn't want to eat them. I said then why did you. She said because they were there, all day, always around, she was stressed, and they started to look good. I said well I guess if we didn't want to eat them we shouldn't have put them out. Or brought them into the house. Or bought them in the first place, she said. I said I guess sometime when things are always around we eventually get hungry for them, even though they aren't what we really want. Got the look...like are we still taking about chips? Then I dropped it.
Now...let's see how long the carton of her favorite ice cream in the frezer lasts.....
I figure that when that time comes for the actual conversation I can use this as an example.....
Meanwhile, staying strong even though W has new business trips planned.
PS - there are so mnay of us here with spouses involved with other people at work. Is there some book or program aimed at employees that addresses this? something aimed at those at risk of getting intangled in this sort of thing? (other than Not Just Friends, which is good).
