My Story - He Cheated while I was Pregnant

[AJM80]

Sparks - I think you've nailed it. H said something a couple months ago about how I never wore the jewelry he bought me (very not true - I don't wear a lot of jewelry, but until our D was born, I would wear the necklaces he got me regulary. I cut back since she was grabbing/getting scratched/I wasn't really getting dressed up) Clearly he's had some hurt feelings in the past and he's gotten me some awesome and terrible gifts...he's definitely hit or miss and this time he did do something new. He put a lot of thought into it and was very excited about what he got me. I tucked the tags and carried it yesterday - I think it is time to cut them off.

I think I have to be careful to balance being real/honest and being too critical...I told H yesterday (he came to see the kids from 1:30-6:30, which included nap time) that I was feeling mad sometimes when he came to visit the kids and it seemed like a short amount of time. That I was surprised, since he'd been gone 6 months, that I still felt that way sometimes. I wasn't starting a fight - more a change for me that I didn't hold it in and give him the silent treatment or explode about something else later. Later, I texted him I was not complaining about our current visitation and I was proud of how far we'd come. I think he understood - it just sort of is how it is.

I think I've detached a little more. I've decided to stay home and take some part time work here and there, rather than going back full time. I was crying, a lot, and hadn't been. I've been a lot more relaxed since I decided that. I'll probably cancel cable, cut back on driving and eating out, and move somewhere cheaper (and more energy efficient) when this lease is up. I've got a couple financial emergency funds/backups, so I should be ok for the next year or two. I'm starting to get a plan in mind for what I want to do next (once the kids are a little older and ready for preschool)