I know exactly how you are feeling Islander. Asked myself the same question with the exact same intonation. There are some things that we may never get the answer for.
Your wife sounds very confused and Im sure she is just intoxicated by all the newness of her situation. They say its like a drug and cant see what is important. Almost like a junkie that knows what they are doing is bad for them but cant seem to stop.
I hope you can find peace in the fact that you have tried everything in your power to make it work.
At the end of the day, thats all you can hope for.
Rest well tonight my friend.
Hope tomorrow finds you in better spirits.
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BITS M-46 W-42 M-16y T-19 y s10 s15 BombDec.19/09 Sep-F16/10 Sep Papers signed by W- June 30/10 Recon July 5/10 PA foundOut- Oct 30/10 Mental HospNov/10 moved out Nov/10 Leg Sep Mar 15/11