The hostility is still minimal since H lost his job. He actually agreed to go to dinner with me and the kids tonight. This was HUGE as before he couldn't be in the same room with me for more than a minute. Mostly he's quiet, once in awhile he will say something about his job situation. Things have definitely changed, he seems so lost. I can assume this must be a big blow to his ego especially for a guy who let his career and position define him.
Talked to my therapist on Saturday. She said to just continue to work on myself the way I have been (essentially all my 180s) and not to let the situation affect what I do day to day. But she also said to be careful not to shut him out if he does need me given that he is in a pretty bad place right now. So I am trying to walk the line and keep up with the LRT, but I still need a little advice on how you all think I should handle this.
Before I acted like the roomate. Good morning, have a good day. Good night.
Now he is home ALL the time and going through a major crisis. He has opened up more to me than he has in months. Do I try to ask him how he's doing? Do I ask him if he wants dinner (he has refused to eat anything I cooked for the past three months), do I ask him if he wants to do stuff? I know this is pursuing, but is this an opening? I also don't want him to just think that I'm here no matter what without taking any accountability for what he did. Perhaps the reason he's going through the crisis is because he realized he has isolated his wife, lost his job, etc. and if I move in too quickly, he may not have the realization he needs.
