Recovering after a same sex affair - Part 4

[sparks14]

Hmmm Sparks, just a random thought. If your wife has "full" custody instead of 50 percent, what does that do to child support? Is she trying to push for financial support/not having to work?

My W and I have not talked about child support or anything financial at this point. Even right now, she is trying to make it work on her own salary. She makes close to half that I make, but she has been determined to do it on her own. We also kept our joint account specifically for your S with the plan to split his expenses. Maybe I will be blind sided by a financial agenda on her side, but I really do not see that as the case right now.

I may be in a minority here but I agree with you that her having full custody right now would set an agenda if a divorce happened.

In the case of children and custody, I say, do what is in the best interest of the child and if that means you can't DB successfully about that with her than the DB works come off and you fight for what is in the best interest of your child

Thanks for checking in, figg. From my understanding, this would set a precedent if we were to D. A judge would be more willing to keep up with the custody agreement up to that point as long as the child is doing well. It would be difficult for me to reverse that if she were to get full physical custody.

If my W really had an agenda for all of this, the move to full physical custody would also have an impact on the county where the D would occur. Currently I live just inside a VERY conservative county. Since my S has never had another permanent residence, a D would almost have to happen in my county. My W may have gotten her apartment down the street, but it is in another county where the big city is. That county is much more progressive. It would GREATLY benefit her to have the D in that county. Her therapist and ours has explained to her that a same sex affair would not go over well in my conservative county if it were to get down to it. That is why I agreed with my W to split custody and agreed in advance to a mediation driven D if it were to ever get to that. I told my W that I would never want a messy D with our S on the middle and she agreed. Now that she is trying to change that agreement, I am a little irked.

It will be a big boundary, but I believe it is one that I have to keep even if it does not benefit my DBing. I can see her putting the boxing gloves back on if I were to set that boundary. I will have to stick with my guns on this one but avoid her punches and stay calm. Tough task.