I just posted our stats in my sig, but I am 33, my wife is 27, step-daughter is 8.5, daughter is 2.5. Our son, who we lost would be 4 in may. He was lost due to cancer in utero. We had no idea until the day he was born.
Jody in so many words told me to calm down, be a leader in my marriage and start to take control of my own life. Be more fun with my kids (get off the computer and play with them). Although I am usually doing some sort of school project or work...so I try to stay off until after bed time for them. W on the other hand is a facebook addict. On it a lot.
A couple of the major problems happened early in our relationship and I feel we never recovered from them. One is I lied about talking to an ex at the very beginning of our pregnancy. I was freaked out, and was not seeking to get back together with her, which is what she thought. We supposedly put that past us, as I told her the truth, and they even became friends. So, she knows my intentions were not to ever get back together with her. It was also years since we were last together. I know this still bothers her to this day, and this is my fault.
Another issue is there was infidelity almost 2 years ago. She was at a sales meeting for a week, had too many drinks, was very flirtatious with a co-worker, and ended up passing out in his room. It was one of the worst nights I have had. She ended up on the next plane home, 2 days before her meeting was to end. She vowed to make our marriage better. There was no sexual situations involved, but there was kissing. This still eats at me today, even though I tell her it doesn't.
Back in November of this past year, another big bombshell was dropped on me. This time I found out that my father molested my half sister 30 years ago. I didn't hear it from him, but my uncle. Apparently this was something the whole family hid from me forever. Not even my sister told me until then. My family primarily lives in California, and I live in the midwest. I have not heard from my father, other than a letter 4 months later. Needless to say, I don't talk to anyone in my family any longer except for my oldest sister.
My W also comes from a very bad past. Her family is very emotionally distant. She was date-raped while she was 17. She also had an abusive relationship with my step-daughters bio-father. He was physically, emotionally and mentally abusive to her. 8 years later, just a couple of months ago, he apologized to her for the way he treated her over that time. She cried. It was amazing for him to actually do this, since he is really a waste of life. Anyhow, she has been through a lot in her life, and I want her to figure out what she wants.
Needless to say, I am falling apart. I have lost my parents, and everything attached to them. My childhood seems like a farce now. I lost my firth born child. My wife doesn't love me, and I am going to lose my girls now too. I am trying to stay strong. I went to the gym twice this weekend, we did things as a family like normal. I cleaned the house, did laundry, and played with my kids. My W and I watched a movie together, on different couches like normal. She made a few comments to me about the future, some were about us together, and some were about us apart. I get somewhat emotional and think too much about it, especially when it is not what I want to hear. She makes it seem like she has given up completely, but then there are glimpses of cracks that I can see and feel. God, I wish it wasn't this hard. I am so in love with this woman.
Me- 33 W - 27 M - 4 T - 5 SD- 8.5 S- 4 (deceased) D- 2.5
