Thank you CW, Seeking, Cas, Lorie, Mila, and Sanderika VERY much for your support and condolences. Your sympathies mean more to me than you know at a time when most people would expect an X-daughter in-law to be estranged from her former in-laws. My friends here are the only people who really understand how I feel.
Last night I defaulted to the "strong nurse" persona I had to use when I was a hospital nurse "back in the day". Today my grief is setting in and I am even more confused about how all of this affects my 2 1/2 years of DB'ing. I guess I don't need to make a decision about that this week but I think I will try to talk with Jody before the funeral if possible. It will be very difficult to grieve while being at a funeral where XH's current GF#2 is present. I think it will provide me some comfort to know that I will have a history with many of the people who will be there but at the same time I'm sure that GF#2 has met many of these people too. I will do all of the hygiene things a woman does to bolster her confidence when she has to (i.e. nails, hair color, facial, nice dress, etc). It will give me a chance to DB these people too, though it will no doubt be difficult while crying.
So at 12 noon today XH sent an email to a zillion people (friends, co-workers, old GFs) announcing his mother's passing. Here's part of it:
"I arrived home at 4:30pm from vacation/Mexico and promptly received a call from GAG. She stopped-by to see her (mom) at 4pm and found her non responsive. I went directly over there and we sat until I made GAG go home about 9pm. I stayed with Mom until 2am; ............. Unfortunately, my conversation before I left for my vacation would be my last "two way" with Mom. Instead, I held her hand, moistened her mouth, put a cool compress on her head and neck, told her how much I loved and would miss her; then kissed her good night. I never knew one person could have that many tears, but now I know it must be true. I cried at the passing of my Dad, but I guess there's a special bond with Mothers................As they say, "tomorrow is promised to no one"; make the most of today. Love, Mr. GAG"
The first email address in the mass mailing was GF#2's email. XH doesn't know that I know where she works. The email address doesn't list her name. Just her place of work........It was interesting to me that he blind copied me on the email (my email address contains my RL last name) even though he specifically told everyone I was present with him last evening. The only reason I could think he would do that is because even though GF#2 must know my full name, he doesn't think she can't find my e-mail address which is not true. It's everywhere on google because of my professional life..... Does anyone have any other ideas why XH would blind copy me on the mass email?
I also texted X-SIL a bit this afternoon as follows:
Me: I am so sorry for your loss. If there's anyting I can do please don't hesitate to ask. If you would like to talk at all, please feel free to call.
XSIL: Thanks for your support. You have been wonderful thru this. I'll call on you later, I'm sure.
Me: If you have a public funeral would you please let me know? I'd like to pay my respects if that's OK with you and Mr. GAG.
X-SIL: Of course!!!!!!! We're thinking it will be friday at 3pm. Will keep you posted.
Me: Thank you XSIL.
XSIL: No, I am thanking you - so very much. Mr. GAG emailed me and can't stop crying. The two of us will be a pair this week!
Me: I am crying too now.
So I am feeling very confused right now. One more thread between us is severed now although our memories of his mother still remain. Feeling like Mr. GAG may never figure anything out. I don't know. I caught him looking at me with a thoughtful expression on his face a couple times last night, but who knows what he is thinking. Right now I think he is grieving.
Sorry for the long post. Right now I just feel kind of lost. Feel like I lost XMIL and I'm losing hope for reconciling with XH too. If anyone has different perspective or insights I welcome them.
