Been awhile. Lots has happened since I last have been here. He came home again and said he wanted to work on the marriage. I think that lasted 3 days before he was done again. We've been at a standoff since. Mostly, I just tried to steer clear of him and let him have his space. Finally on Thursday, he came to tell me that he wanted a divorce. He said, "it's so hard to say the words, but yes, I definitely want a divorce." He then left again. Yesterday, he came back for a few minutes, packed up a bunch of his stuff, and told me he'd talk to me soon. I think that he wanted to hug me or talk to me more, but I was pretty numb at that point.
I didn't hear from him for the rest of the day. Today, he texted me saying that he hoped that I was ok. I thought it was nice because he hasn't really been all that concerned for awhile. I know at this point he's done by that text message exchange. I know its bizarre, but he hasn't been nice for a long while. Not like this at least. It's like he feels sorry for me. I know I shouldn't read minds. That's not what I'm doing here. He's my H, I know him and I know this tone. I know that the behavior pattern is starting to change quite dramatically.
I don't have much fight in me left for this. I'm sure I'll get smacked upside the head for that, but we have to know where our limits are. I'm kind of at mine.
