Forgot to add that at one point I told XH that I was glad he was there (with his mother) and he looked me right in the eyes and said "I'm glad you're here too".
Hi GAG, Your post showed so much emotion and I sense that this week has been a huge drain on you both physically and emotionally. You have had a lot of responsibility placed on you via H and his sister. I am glad that H has shown his gratitude because you have played an enormous role is caring for XMIL and ultimately XH and XSIL. Your care and your compassion could certainly not go unnoticed or be unmentioned.
It seems the fact that you mentioned XH does not reply to your texts/emails re his mother really triggered something in XH and he probably started scrolling through his phone hoping to refute what you had said but probably also appalled at his insensitivity should you be right.
Whether or not XH was with GF2 on vacay is probably immaterial. So what if she had a holiday with him. She was not there with him with his mother. In this, one of the most intimate and personal times XH has entrusted his mother and shared his emotions with you, not GF2.
You are a truly wonderful and selfless woman to devote so much time and caring on XMIL. Now is not the time to express your emotions but instead take H's welcoming of your involvement and his sharing of this painful time as a sign that he does indeed want you there with him. The real signs of appreciation will come with time.
I am sending you blessings of peace at this challenging time. Be there for XMIL, XH and XSIL but also remember yourself at this time and remember to nurture you.
Thank you Cas and Seeking for your kind replies. I will try to reply later in the day. I am meeting a GF for brunch and plan to stop by X-MIL's place on the way to the restaurant.
I received an email from XH at 3:30AM this morning. He sent it to his sister and me. It said that he'd stayed with his mother until 2AM (he got up at 5:30AM to catch his flight yesterday). He wrote: "I thought this was her night, but she's a fighter. My eyes have never hurt so badly....I never knew one person could have that many tears, but it must be true. ......I wanted to stay all night, but I just couldn't do it. ..............I will go back in the morning sometime after I wake............ Love, Mr. GAG"
So sorry to see that your MIL has taken a turn for the worse.
Quote:
I am sending you blessings of peace at this challenging time. Be there for XMIL, XH and XSIL but also remember yourself at this time and remember to nurture you.
Definitely!!!
(((hugs)))
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
I got an email from XH at 8:30am this morning saying that his mother had passed away an hour earlier. The email was addressed to his sister, me, and BMF.
I think he must be feeling some guilt because the last time he spoke with her was one week ago friday before he went on vacay. Last night he said to me "She looked the same as always before I left (on vacay)". X-SIL will be booking her flight today.
I offered to drop some food by his place this morning (this is the way I was raised ----- people brought food to the homes of people who were mourning). He declined. Not sure if he just wants his space or if GF#2 is there.........It's weird. I am grieving too but I can't really join in the grieving process with others because I am the "X". I will need to ask XH's and X-SIL's permission to attend the funeral probably because GF#2 will no doubt be there. It makes this grieving process doubly hard.
I'm sorry for your pain at this time, GAG. You were there as such a wonderful friend and support to XMIL and to XSIL and XH.
Ask XH if it's alright for you to attend the funeral as a courtesy but know in your heart that it is your rightful place. As the others have said it's really about your relationship with XMIL, not your relationship with anyone else.
I am so sorry for your loss. It would be so sad for me to lose my MIL. She & I are so close, even through all of this crap. My prayers are with you and Mr. GAG.
Lorie W47 H48 D16 M20 H gone 11/9/10 lives w/OW
When you forgive,you heal. When you let go,you grow. When you cry to God, you surrender. When you love unconditionally, you show others Christ's love.
