So many of us, both men and women, understand exactly where you are coming from at the moment. We have stood in your shoes, and many of us continue to stand in them to this day. If I may add anything to Scylla post above, it would be to try and live your life as if he is never coming back. It will be his decision as to how he maintains, or doesn't maintain a R with his children. It's heartbreaking, but you will get through it, as they will, and they will need you all the more.
Be there for them, be there for yourself. Only God can be there for your H at the moment.
