Cas I think youre a girl after my own heart... could natter the hind legs of at least a couple of donkeys and a born organiser. Unfortunately one of my bigger mistakes was to have an H then a son, they then became my boys NO NO NO! Yes they are my boys, but one of them is my H and he always has to have standing above S.. Now believe me S isnt to fond of that and even less fond of his dad sticking up for me a lot more these days, before he never bothered to get between me and S arguing (were too alike). But because I dont go off my rocker at everything these days, H takes me far more seriously when I do. The other night S (23) got too gobby hes dinner was about a inch from the dustbin beleive me.. he stormed off into the lounge to eat after H said he'd got it wrong and misheard me but S carried on digging.. Before I would have left my dinner and continued the argument till I won.. no dinner with H took priority S sulked then came out of the room on the pretext of emptying the dishwasher which I'd asked him to do before dinner.. He knew he was out of order as he unloaded and loaded the dinner things lol!

BUT the biggest thing I had to get to H to understand was I could only change me, if he wanted something different he HAD to say, and if he dithered on things he got kindly reminded he had made my life hell for six months to get this freedom of speech so he'd better use it..

IF and Im only sumising here hun! Your H never felt heard, its gonna take a long time for him to get used to wanting to be heard. Hes not gonna dive in saying I want this and that, this is where you can give him choices so we can do A or B and then ask or have you got a C idea to H. This you can lead in which will help you a little in feeling you have input. You do but you must use it very carefully, the tricky bit is staying honest to yourself, so if you feel you are doing some thing to just keep him happy which doesnt feel true to you, time for gentle negotiation. And that doesnt mean girlie negotiation where we end up stitching H up to do what we want we all know how to do that lol, but true compromise.

Anyway I have wiffled long enough I have a huge pile of shopping to put away which I must get too, hope you are having a lovely weekend x

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W 47
H 47
M 24
T 30

Once lost but now found and happily married again!