Hi GAG, Your post showed so much emotion and I sense that this week has been a huge drain on you both physically and emotionally. You have had a lot of responsibility placed on you via H and his sister. I am glad that H has shown his gratitude because you have played an enormous role is caring for XMIL and ultimately XH and XSIL. Your care and your compassion could certainly not go unnoticed or be unmentioned.
It seems the fact that you mentioned XH does not reply to your texts/emails re his mother really triggered something in XH and he probably started scrolling through his phone hoping to refute what you had said but probably also appalled at his insensitivity should you be right.
Whether or not XH was with GF2 on vacay is probably immaterial. So what if she had a holiday with him. She was not there with him with his mother. In this, one of the most intimate and personal times XH has entrusted his mother and shared his emotions with you, not GF2.
You are a truly wonderful and selfless woman to devote so much time and caring on XMIL. Now is not the time to express your emotions but instead take H's welcoming of your involvement and his sharing of this painful time as a sign that he does indeed want you there with him. The real signs of appreciation will come with time.
I am sending you blessings of peace at this challenging time. Be there for XMIL, XH and XSIL but also remember yourself at this time and remember to nurture you.
