Reading your sitch has taken me back to the beginning of mine! All the emotions and wondering what things I should be doing to make my H pick me!
Quote:
Should I cook his meals / do his washing as normal or not? Should I chat to him & let him think we are friends? This feels like letting him get away with treating me badly.
Should I avoid him - keep out of his way? Should I ask him to leave?
First off, you have children...you are cooking for them, for your family...not H. If he is there to eat...great...if not, no special favors!
Do you normally wash his clothes when you do laundry? If it is part of your routine, then it is ok to keep doing it.
As for chatting and being his friend...I wouldn't be overly friendly...don't follow him from room to room talking to him. Be nice, say hello...talk about the kids...but keep away from R talk...let him ask questions or initiate any other convo's...listne, don't offer help/advice/solutions unless he asks!
Don't avoid him in an obvious way (ex. leave a room when he walks in) but don't follow him around either! The list posted in the beginning of your thread is a good one to read and read again!
I hope this helps a little! It has been over a year since I read the DR book...I know the pain that you are feeling very well and I can promise you that it does get better!
I know some things seem so opposite of what you think you should do...that is why they are called 180's! Hang in there!
Take care of you and your kids!!!!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
