The Lies and Deception Killing Me

[abbey1989]

S20 came home for the weekend. It looks as though he and his GF of 3 yrs may be breaking up. He is so much like me sometimes it is scary.

I gave him my advice that if his GF will not be honest with him, then he needs to take steps to make himself happy....even if that means cutting the cord. I asked H to talk to S20, and while he thought it was pointless (we've both had countless conversations with S20 about GF), he gave it another try. H and I talked about it this a.m. I told him that I thought it was wrong that GF is not being honest with S. That if she has someone else she should be honest and tell him. H completely disagreed and said it is up for our S to make his own decisions, and that he and he alone is responsible for his own happiness. He disagreed that son's GF should fess up to anything.

He said that we've all been on both side of the fence and it isn't easy either way.

Got me thinking that yes, I get the whole "being responsible for our own happiness", but it seems innately WRONG to be dishonest with someone who has been your partner for so long. Maybe we have different morals/values? I of course was applying his logic to our situation (which of course we haven't talked about) and all I can see is selfishness. Making yourself happy at the expense of anyone else. Hm-m-m-m. Need to ponder some more.

We are taking the train north tonight with some friends for dinner/music out. Should be fun.

Song for the day: "Feeling Alright" Huey Lewis version.