Pregnant and he's wanting to leave

[sparks14]

I'm beginning to feel the backlash from those that know what's going on. This is why I chose to tell so few people. Those that know have lost their patience with him and are now furious with him. More upset than me in some cases. This is why I have to keep this under wraps.

This is a very good idea, May! I made the mistake of telling my family about my W's affair before I confronted my W. I got very mixed signals concerning exposure, so I felt like my family is my support system, so they need to know. I was devasted and needed their support. For weeks after, I talk to at least one of them for hours a day. Just vented. Now as my W and I are going through therapy, my W recognizes that it will never be the same between my family and her. I try and tell her that forgiveness will come over time. It has really put a painful spot between us right now. Not to mention, that your supporters are going to say everything to protect you. It took me weeks of telling my family members what my plan and goals were. They thought my patience was crazy. They said I was in denial. It is only now, after two months, have they stopped giving me advice and are believing in my process.

Be very careful of who you go to with your information right now. What he is doing is very wrong, but the people that you tell will not be as willing to reconcile as you will be. I think you are doing well to keep it under wraps for now (even though you may feel like crying out for support).

And I guess that was my other spot of light this week. Ever since reading Michele's book, the main theme seemed to be patience. A while back, someone was talking about me and said, "she has the patience of Job" and I was reminded of that as I was reading Michele's book. So every time I saw the word "patience" I circled it and wrote at the bottom of the page, "I have the patience of Job". And at my faculty meeting on Thursday, my principal was talking about compliance in the children, and how she had visited my classroom that day, and in front of the whole faculty she said, "I was in her class today and they were working on compliance. And first off, it should be said that she has the patience of Job."

And I felt like it was the way the universe wanted to tell me that I'm doing the right thing.

Patience is an amazing virtue. You are doing a fantastic job of expressing your patience right now in the face of an awful situation. Stick with it. Keep implementing the steps you are learning from DR and here on these boards. Take care of yourself and that baby! Try to keep the pursuing behaviors down toward your H even though it seems as though he is completely lost. We often want to throw them a life line as we always have when our spouse's are lost, but it is very important not to in this circumstance.

You are doing a great job so far. Keep checking in. Take care of that baby! This will be the most exciting moment in your life.