He's definitely not in California. Which provides some solace, but I don't know if he's definitely at his parent's house. And who knows when he's coming back (he doesn't even know when he's coming back).
I'm beginning to feel the backlash from those that know what's going on. This is why I chose to tell so few people. Those that know have lost their patience with him and are now furious with him. More upset than me in some cases. This is why I have to keep this under wraps.
Even the couple's therapist asked me how long I planned to keep up the charade of everything being ok. She thinks his behavior is completely unacceptable. Which I agree, it is unacceptable, but there's nothing I can do about it. I mean, with the exception of someone saying that he is a danger to himself or others and getting him committed (which no one would be willing to do), my hands are completely tied.
My baby steps for this week could be counted as that he IS responding to me WHEN I initiate (which is very, very rare). He also is not completely ignoring MC, just saying he was unable/unwilling to go to this last one, and the next one is questionable. And it seems to be the general consensus that he would never in a million years actually file for a D. He may do everything in his power to get ME to file for D, but he should know me better than that (after all, I have the patience of Job, remember?).
And I guess that was my other spot of light this week. Ever since reading Michele's book, the main theme seemed to be patience. A while back, someone was talking about me and said, "she has the patience of Job" and I was reminded of that as I was reading Michele's book. So every time I saw the word "patience" I circled it and wrote at the bottom of the page, "I have the patience of Job". And at my faculty meeting on Thursday, my principal was talking about compliance in the children, and how she had visited my classroom that day, and in front of the whole faculty she said, "I was in her class today and they were working on compliance. And first off, it should be said that she has the patience of Job."
And I felt like it was the way the universe wanted to tell me that I'm doing the right thing.
