On the up side, your H did confess. Wow! What I wouldn't give for that right now. My H has been carrying on for 2+ years in some form or another with OW and on the two occasions when I asked him for answers, he just denied and and lied.
I can understand that it must have felt like a relief to know that your feelings/suspicions were validated.
It really is SO important for you to have a bigger social network than just your husband and another mutual friend. The power of friendship is AMAZING and strong. I developed many of my closest friendships with other moms at the elementary school where our children attended. Another good way to make new friends is to join a "MeetUp" group. I joined a women's hiking group via "MeetUp" and now have so many opportunities to get out in nature and connect with other women with similar interests.
I have also struggled with "spying". DON'T DO IT. In my experience, whenever I find something online, it only makes ME feel worse. I know it is innate to try to figure out all of the "whys"....but you will only hurt yourself and right now you need to protect yourself.
Do you have time to take up a new hobby? Something just for you that has nothing to do with H or your R? I took up photography and it has been such a great creative outlet.
You seem very similar to me in so many ways. But just know that you have a strength deep down that will get you through this. Focus on you and your child. Only YOU can make YOU happy. What are some fun/creative/interesting things that you can do this weekend just for you?
Once you start to focus your energies inward, you will feel empowered! It doesn't happen over night, but you will start to feel better. I promise!
Me - 49 H - 56 S - 23 D - 20 Married 25 years H moved out 10/11/13 H moved back in 10/13/13 H moved out again 8/1/14
