Do these things for you man. Do them because you enjoy them. Do them because you want to become a better Fixer.
She'll never notice as long as you are trying to get her to. You don't want to live like that anyway. That's the old Fixer.
Be your own person. You don't want to base who you are on how she will or won't see you.
It's going to happen when you just say screw it, I'm doing X,Y and Z because I love it! I like who I am and I really enjoy life again.
That's when it will happen. Not to sound insensitive or give you the wrong idea but when it happens and she finally does take notice, in a way...it won't matter to you that much any more.
Maybe I'm not making myself attractive or maybe I am and well she's not watching.
Fix,
Part of all of this is accepting that you could very well be one of the most outstanding people to walk the face of the earth and she STILL may not take notice.
Who knows? Maybe her issues will forever cloud her vision. Maybe she doesn't want to be with a great person. Maybe she feels better or more comfortable that way.
It should NEVER take away or change anything when it comes to who you really are. Never.
I do value everyone's point of view on this board.
Maybe I'm not making myself attractive or maybe I'm am and well she's not watching.
Two night of the week I've been working out. I feel more in shape than I have in a long time. Two night of the week I've been out all night bowling and doing what I want. Weekends - I go out and do what I want.
All ideas are welcomed on how to get noticed.
Fixer
You have textbook GAL down pat ... no question. But what about attitude and mind set and tone and ....
Fixer, when I read what you write, I sense sad. Not independant, happy, emotionally strong, confident, upbeat ... sad.
All the activities in the world are not going to penetrate that.
You say:
Originally Posted By: Fixer
I do my best to accept all situations that come my way.
Acceptance and resignation are two different things. You don't sound accepting, you sound resigned.
Attractive is a mindset ... you have to feel it and then you don't have to project it, it emmanates from you.
Peace PEI
Holding onto anger to punish someone else, is like lighting yourself on fire to get smoke in their eyes ~ 25yearsmlc
It's been a while. Yes, I'm good at GAL. Sometimes my W and I go out and have a good time. People that we know look at us and can't believe what we're going through. My W is a different person at home then when she's out. At home she watches endless hours of TV and doesn't want to do anything else. I come and go as I please. Sometimes, I feel as though I'm having a MLC. At least she's seeing a councelor. Hopefully, she will help my wife to either stay or divorce me.
Fixer, your sitch scares me. I can almost see this happening to me and I don't want it! You have the patience of a saint. I will probably just go crazy.
I have a D12 though so I understand and I will probably do the same thing for my child's welfare.
Looks like you have tried everything, and your W is still the same, so really, its your choice. YOU have to make the decision, and so you know the answer to your question.
Me:49 H:45 D:12 M:14 T:18 Bomb: 6/26/10 EA: 9/3/10, fizzled out slowly, now ??? 11/5/11 Retrouvaille Finally piecing.... Its peaceful at last, but we got a looong way to go
I have one piece of advice. Don't take what your H does personal. When I take what she does personal it hurts. When I look at her actions as an outsider - I feel bad for her.
Yesterday we went out to dinner. My W, D13 and I had a nice time. Sometimes D13 and I will act silly and joke around about stupid stuff. In the past my W use to think I was serious and get angry. It was nice yesterday to watch her laugh and play along.
Oh and did I tell you she's gone to a least 2 counseling sessions. I don't know how they are going, but at least she's getting some help.
I noticed that you never answered Mach's question. Why is that?
So fixer what is it that you want in your life? How do go about trying to get whatever it is that you want?
Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
