A Whole New World

[Dagny-2]

Thanks for all the advice. I even used some of my DB skills of long past during the meeting (will what I am about to say help me attain my goal). There were a few times I wanted to reach across the table and strangle him, but I restrained.

Collaborative Law is a bit like a cross between mediation & traditional law. Usually between 4-6 meetings everything is settled, there is an agenda and meeting minutes. And we each have our lawyer with us, so I am represented. The nice thing is that everything is on the table since we are not using the court system. My lawyer did have me file at domestic relations in case H pulled out and I would be protected. We even get homework and have to produce tons of financial documents for the next meeting.

It was draining sitting in a room for 3 hours talking about ending our M. I heard things come out of his mouth to justify his actions that are simply untrue, or exaggerated, but I felt the more he talked, the more he looked like a jerk. My L gave me two lists that had goals, one for financial and one for kids. It really helped me focus on what was important and I should probably read through them each time we step foot into the meeting. I like that everything will be settled face to face, there will be no having his L write mine a letter and then she responds, etc.

I’m finding I’m starting to make plans, or at least have day dreams, of things I want to do for me. Or places to go. I think I want to try and budget time to have a family vacation, but also time for me to do something interesting and just for me when H has the kids in the summer (assuming he is going to have them during the summer, he is being a bit cagey about that, the kids don’t want to be around OW and he isn’t willing to be apart from her—though that is my take on things).

I’m still putting work and the kids before me, I know I need to shift that balance a bit, but haven’t found the time/energy yet to do that. Did get up 15 minutes early today to take the pup for a walk – baby steps!

Dagny