Need to take care of me instead of marriage.

[FindingMyVoice]

Hi Gina, I'm obviously not Oldtimer but some of your post resonated with me; in a lot of ways I was in a similar spot about a year ago. Thought I'd throw this out there in case it helped.

How do you stay focused on you, off the marriage and leave the house to work out, or go to meetings when the people in your life don’t support what you are doing? Tell me what any of you might say to yourself to get you past that hurdle.

When I'm in that place, I tell myself that I don't have to 'feel' like or necessarily 'want' to go do a particular activity, in order to go do it. It's getting out the door that's the hardest. After that, you're whistling and you'll be glad you went. And that will make the next time you go out that much easier.

For me this is so important. I need to stop focusing on him. Stop waiting for him to get off the computer and pay attention to me. Stop waiting on him to show me the slightest bit of affection. Stop waiting for me to be given permission to get my life in order.

I think that when YOU start paying attention to you, he will likely begin too. Be kind to yourself. Stop beating yourself up for waiting for him to give you permission, and ask yourself instead, WHY are you waiting for him to give you permission? Don't you think your own permission to get your life in order is enough? Take care, FMV.