Looking for BITS. I'm OnMyWay

[OnMyWay]

While I COMPLETELY understand you wanting to say this because it's true and you never meant to make her feel this way ... this statement doesn't validate her feelings. Regardless of how you MEANT to make her feel, her feelings were very real and valid. Try practising validation statements and replace the need to defend or explain yourself with them. Try "I'm sorry you feel/felt that way" and a simple "I understand" often do the trick. You can practise on everyone ... I often use it with my kids

EXCELLENT TIP! Thanks so much PEI! Little tidbits like that really help me stay focused. I'll definitely use this. I have actually complained to her many times that my feelings are real and that non-acknowledgement of those feelings hurts me and causes me to close down. This one little thing will help me tremendously with trying to open myself back up.