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#2142499 03/24/11 10:56 PM
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anyway for those that have followed along on my journey:

Yesterday I did a 180 of the biggest kind for me thus far. I bought a Galaxy, had the hot spot installed, set up my own Verizon account ect. I was worried what H would say since he TOLD me to wait for him.

He was thrilled with my selection and purchase. He played around all night with it. He took it to work because I was having trouble getting the Hot Spot to work.

Well well well, what a bust. I bought a lemon AND I bought it NOT from a Verizon store. He went to the real Verizon and they pulled the code only to find that I was at a non-authorized dealer. LOL LOL LOL LOL

I had to hear H tell me that I never listen, I always just do it my way no matter what he says and he is the one that waste so much time cleaning up my mess.

Thought I would share. Sometime, I can't do anything right.


me:51
H: 48
No kids together
M:14 years
seperated:Ask him to GET OUT 3/21/11
Piecing 09/14
Joined: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,949
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Yes you did do something right, you took the initiative to do something on your own.

Don't look at it as a failure, look at it as a learning experience.


"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack."
¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤
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How/ what do I do to recover from this blunder


me:51
H: 48
No kids together
M:14 years
seperated:Ask him to GET OUT 3/21/11
Piecing 09/14
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
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For God's sake woman, stop listening to his abuse of you. You made a mistake. It's not a big deal. Last time I checked your H can't walk on water. You don't have to answer to him. He put you down and you are believing it.

It's not a blunder. You made a mistake. Period.

When your H started laying into you, you should have held up your hand and said "look, I made a mistake. I understand that. You don't have the right to talk to me in that manner." Then walk away. He will be left speechless because he will realize he's losing his power over you. He will come back at you even louder, but don't listen to him. And most importantly, don't believe him.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
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-last night was fine. It all worked out. I over heard H talking to a friend that he is going to his mom on Sat and Sun for her birthday. No mention to me or an invite. I feel totally calm about it, considering that area of Calif was one of the breaking points for us.


me:51
H: 48
No kids together
M:14 years
seperated:Ask him to GET OUT 3/21/11
Piecing 09/14
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,239
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Just a suggestion, make plans for this weekend.

Is the desert still in bloom, snow in the mountains?

Get out of the house and do what???


BITS
Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55
D 30
S 27

You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
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today was good. He left for his Mom's town that has lots of his friends in. I could care less. Am I the only one....but all the changes that I have made in my life have me questioning if I even want him back in my life???? I feel so calm and peaceful with him away for the weekend. He is, I am finding/discovering such an emotional drain on me.


me:51
H: 48
No kids together
M:14 years
seperated:Ask him to GET OUT 3/21/11
Piecing 09/14
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 330
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Joined: May 2007
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Ha HA HA HA...I posted on face book (I went to pick a friend up from LAX) about the cost of parking. H was all over my phone...where am I ect. I finally put him out of his terror and told him I was back home. Snickers, it was fun to watch. I asked him what the big deal was. He said, he didn't know if I was meeting my boyfriend(in a joking voice) or had run away from home. So, now I got him on the hook, and today, I feel I might catch and release. Naw, I want to be married to him. Today is the first sign that he is looking into what I am up to.

Any advice???


me:51
H: 48
No kids together
M:14 years
seperated:Ask him to GET OUT 3/21/11
Piecing 09/14
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 12,602
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Yes. STOP INTERACTING WITH HIM.

I don't know how many times you ask for advice, we give you the same advice of not answering to him so quickly, yet you don't follow.

He is checking to see if you are still in his control. Just the fact that you responded "to put him out of his terror" is the wrong thing to do.

Listen very carefully.

POST THAT YOU WENT OUT FOR A LUNCH OR SOMETHING. WHEN HE CALLS YOU STOP RESPONDING RIGHT AWAY. WAIT UNTIL THE THIRD CALL, THEN JUST SAY YOU WERE BUSY. DO NOT GIVE ANY DETAILS. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE CONVERSATION, SAY YOU HAVE TO GO AND TELL HIM GOODBYE. NO EXPLANATIONS.

You may think you have him under your control. But you do not. He's taking your temperature to see if you're still his until he finds someone else.

You have to have him wanting you so badly that he will do anything you wish, including going to counselling.


M-43 W-40
2D - 9 and 5

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet a new life.

RECONCILED AND WISER
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 330
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Despite what some may think, for the last 2 weeks I have had a huge upswing on the "disconnecting" phase. I faked it, till I made it. I actully have seconds of I just don't care.

H was away this weekend to his mom's house. He made all the contact with me. I only responded twice. Late yesterday, afternoon I could tell he was getting frustrated that I didn't text back. There was no reason, he didn't ask me a question. I went to bed early. He got home sometime after 8pm. I woke to him covering me up. He then went on to tell me the pasta I made was the best he has ever had. Good, I went back to sleep.

This morning he was overly chatty with me. I responded as if I was talking to the neighbor. He actually made my lunch (2x in 8 years, poured my coffee, made my travel mug ect..I acted again like he was the server at a resturant. THEN, he started to clean the stove. Honestly, I wasn't sure he knew we even had a stove. I was doing something with my computer and he slipped and called me "sweetie" He recovered just as fast.

I don't know, but he does seem more intrested. It was been 3 moths of personal changes, that have become habbit. Maybe he believes them


me:51
H: 48
No kids together
M:14 years
seperated:Ask him to GET OUT 3/21/11
Piecing 09/14
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