Thank you for your responses so far. You are right...I do blame my self for some of this, but I know that he made a decision on his own and part of that is his fault. Part of this is the OW fault in my opinion as well. She knew I was here. She drove over 6 hours one way to have sex with him one night when she knew I was here. At no point in that time did she say "hey, I wonder if I should not have sex with someone elses spouse, maybe I should turn around and go home". So I do have anger, but most of it is directed to her. I cannot explain it, but it is just how I feel.
He was still talking to her when I confrunted him, but had not been sexually active with her for over five months (she lives over 6 hours away, so that distance has helped us). As soon as I confrunted him about it and he was so remorseful, I told him that if we are going to work he needs to stop talking to her and stop all contact. He has canceled all of his online accounts, he called her and told her it was over(in a 3 minute conversation). Also, we are going to change our phone numbers. But you are right I have already discussed with that I want to get tested for STD's and he says that if I want to do that he will do it with me. He says that I should not have to go through this all alone because he says this is all his fault. He is the only person I have ever been sexually active with so I have never been tested before( a little nervous).
After he broke it off with her she started texting him because he would not answer her phone calls. He let me respond to her because he said that he made a promise to me not to talk to her again, so he let me take care of it. I texted her back and told her to leave us alone. She even had the nerve to text me and ask how I would feel if this happened to me. HELLO? This did happen to me...and of everyone in this situation I am the last person (in my opinion) that should know how this feels. But on a happy note- My H says she is afraid of me because I was in the army
