should I stay put?

[canadianMrs.]

Thank you guys. The longer I come here, the more I am so thankful to have found it.

H isn't the sports car guy, but he is the "poor me" guy. If you looked at our lives the past few years, I think I have more things to play the victim card, but I don't. His parents are totally buying into his victim routine. "Poor him" "We are so worried" They do call me to offer support, but I don't think they really want to hear anything bad about their son.
I've been thinking about his childhood. (I've known him since we were in grade 9). His older brother has had some "issues" with his marriage too, and went to IC/MC, and a lot of it stemed from how he grew up. He's told me that they might have looked like a happy family but it was like always waiting for the shoe to drop with their dad. I can see that he is very controlling, but I guess it was very scary as children. My H has never talked about this. This is also a family where you don't talk about your problems, its more important to put on appearances. Oh, and do not show your emotions. I was told by BIL they were punished for crying as little kids (and I doubt it was a time out).
One other thing, and I don't even think H knows I know...is that, when he was 19 he was invited over to our old highschool coaches house. The coach got him drunk and tried to "seduce" him. He got away and drove home drunk. I know before that H thought this guy was super cool etc. I'm guessing that has to affect any guy, especially one who sees himself as very masculine.I just learned more about this in the last few years from a very close friend of H's, when the coach was arrested for similar acts.

I'm sure you'll see more of me around, and thanks for the advice. My suitcase is staying put in the storage room.